72. Cowpokes!

It gets lonely out here on the ranch, so we’re ready to rustle up some love! That’s why today we’re doing cowpeople!…Cowfolk?…Cowpersons? Cowpokes! For this heart-wrangling episode, we read “Crazy for the Cowboy” by Cindy Spencer Pape and “Braggin Rights” by Kenna White. Our rugged hosts discuss the discombobulating power of hats, the ins and outs of easements, and we have such a long intro!! Sorry! (Unless you like it, then you’re welcome).

Support us on Patreon!
www.patreon.com/fmklitpod


Crazy for the Cowboy by Cindy Spencer Pape

Claire:

Kill

Neil:

Kill


Braggin Rights by Kenna White

Claire:

Fuck

Neil:

Fuck

71. Gangsters!

Nothing’s sexier than a little danger. Except maybe danger coupled with some fantastic organizational skills, which is why today we’re doing Mobsters! For this criminally sexy episode, we read “Bedding the Enemy” by LaQuette and “Steel Hearts (Brothers in Blue Book 1)” by Jason Collins. Our felonious hosts discuss the most complicated route to get in someone’s pants, that there needs to be more face sitting, and that Claire knows an awful lot about the mafia…

Support us on Patreon!
www.patreon.com/fmklitpod


Bedding the Enemy by LaQuette

Claire:

Fuck


Steel Hearts (Brothers in Blue Book 1) by Jason Collins

Claire:

Kill

Neil:

Fuck

70. Princes!

You, dear listeners, are royalty to us and should be wooed accordingly. Which is why today we’re doing princes! Specifically, modern princes with commoners (we love a specific theme). For this episode we read “His Most Convenient Bride (Princely Passions)” by Holly Rayner and “The Royal Report” by Claire Castle. Our imperial hosts discuss baking hours, the fact that there actually is such a thing as too many sandwiches, and Neil goes on another grammar rant. She’s a grammar queen, apparently.

Support us on Patreon!
www.patreon.com/fmklitpod


His Most Convenient Bride (Princely Passions) by Holly Rayner

Claire:

Kill

Neil:

Kill


The Royal Report by Claire Castle

Claire:

Kill

Neil:

Kill

69. Polyamory!

What’s better than finding the love of your life? Finding both the loves of your life! Which is why today we’re doing polyamory! For this extra love-filled episode, we read “Heart and Hand: (Gold Sky Book 1)” by Rebel Carter, and “She Whom I Love (Treading the Boards Book 2)” by Tess Bowery. Our hosts discuss arguments about wet clothes, what it means to be the Meg of the relationship, and how easily bananas can break the fantasy of the narrative.

Support us on Patreon!
www.patreon.com/fmklitpod


Heart and Hand: (Gold Sky Book 1) by Rebel Carter

Claire:

Kill

Neil:

Kill


She Whom I Love (Treading the Boards Book 2) by Tess Bowery

Claire:

Marry

Neil:

Marry

68. Treasure Hunters!

We here at FMKlit think that a good book is worth more than its weight in gold. And while we don’t always read good books, this episode’s books have plenty of gold because today we’re doing Treasure Hunters! For this expedition of an episode, we read “Unexpected Treasure: The Treasure Hunters Series Book I” by Aidan Willows and Grace Risata, and “Treasure of Love (Love Series Book 2)” by Scotty Cade. Today our hosts discuss alien dicks; the do’s and don’ts of underwear shopping; and the most important quality a person can possibly have: a competent pussy.

Support us on Patreon!
www.patreon.com/fmklitpod


Unexpected Treasure: The Treasure Hunters Series Book I by Aidan Willows and Grace Risata

Claire:

Kill

Neil:

Kill


Treasure of Love (Love Series Book 2) by Scotty Cade

Claire:

Kill

Neil:

Kill

67. Classics!

Pour yourself some fine brandy, climb into those silky sheets, and crank up the gramophone, because today, our most esteemed listeners, we’re doing classics! For this very fancy episode, we read “Persuasion” by Jane Austen, and “Maurice” by E. M. Forster. Our learned hosts discuss some of the most esoteric of subjects: where one can find the reset button on the human body, a strong contender for the “Worst Ex in Literature” Award, and whatever the fuck a pump room is.

And, of course…the Goop Diaper: https://goop.com/wellness/environmental-health-civics/diaper-tax/

Support us on Patreon!
www.patreon.com/fmklitpod


Persuasion by Jane Austen

Claire:

Marry

Neil:

Marry


Maurice by E.M. Forster

Claire:

Marry

Neil:

Marry

66. Aliens!

They say love is the strongest force in the universe and, in the interest of science, we here at FMKlit are going to test this theory. Because today we’re doing human/alien lovin’!! Today we read “Ruth’s Bonded (The Gandry Book 1)” by V.C. Lancaster and “Planet Glecerus [Alien Lovers 1] (Siren Publishing Menage Everlasting ManLove)” by Olivia Black. On this intergalactic episode, our hosts discuss the caloric risk of too much sex, the dangers of hide and seek, and Claire wants it known that she is not here for necklace.

And, as promised, romance Twitter drama!! https://twitter.com/BookishAlerts/status/1516521583174635520?s=20&t=NHMwpNKeQWlvCUDSeFSbug

Support us on Patreon!

https://www.patreon.com/fmklitpod


Ruth’s Bonded (The Gandry Book 1) by V.C. Lancaster

Claire:

Fuck

Neil:

Heavy Petting on Second Base


Planet Glecerus [Alien Lovers 1] (Siren Publishing Menage Everlasting ManLove) by Olivia Black

Claire:

Kill

Neil:

Heavy Petting on Second Base

65. Construction Workers!

Is that a 2×4 in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Hope you’re ready for a good lay….ing of bricks. Because today we’re doing construction workers! This time around we read “Hard Wood: A Steamy Romantic Comedy” by Tara Crescent and “One Brick at a Time” by J. P. Bowie. For this hard tool-filled episode, our hosts discuss the joy of a good meet-cute, sex furniture, and the origin of witch hats.

Check out our Patreon!! patreon.com/fmklitpod

And check out “Friends with Food,” the podcast where Claire and Neil were guests: www.friendswithfoodpod.com/


Hard Wood: A Steamy Romantic Comedy by Tara Crescent

Claire:

Marry

Neil:

Heavy Petting on Second Base


One Brick at a Time by J. P. Bowie

Claire:

Fuck

64. Modern Retellings of Jane Austen!

It is a truth universally acknowledged that millennials with too much time on their hands must be in want of starting a podcast. This direct quote is very wise, and that’s why today we’re doing modern retellings of Jane Austen! Today we read “The Code for Love and Heartbreak” by Jillian Cantor (Emma) and “Most Ardently” by Susan Mesler-Evans (Pride & Prejudice). On this especially literary episode, our hosts discuss student debt, a startling artifact from Claire’s past, and Neil comes up with the best worst business idea ever.

As as promised, here’s a cartoon explaining what it’s like having allergies: imgur.com/K2i2QD7


Most Ardently by Susan Mesler-Evans

Claire:

Kill

Neil:

Kill


The Code for Love and Heartbreak by Jillian Cantor

Claire:

Kill

Neil:

Kill

63. Reality Dating Shows!

Nothing quite speaks to the quiet intimacy of falling in love like doing it in front of cameras and millions of viewers. Which is why we’re doing reality dating shows! Today we read “One to Watch” by Kate Stayman-London and “The Charm Offensive” by Alison Cochrun. For this heavily produced and subtly scripted episode, our hosts discuss the marriageability of pastries, how NOT to dismantle a system, and that Claire would be the most evil reality show producer ever.


One to Watch by Kate Stayman-London

Claire:

Kill

Neil:

Marry


The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun

Claire:

Kill

Neil:

Kill